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Over the past week or so, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the double standard of why men who sleep around are considered “studs”, while women who do the same are considered “sluts”. I think I’ve finally figured it out, and the reasons for it goes to show just how much sexism and misogyny permeate our society.
Here it goes. You see, to a lot of men, sleeping around with women is not just merely something they do for recreation. To them, it’s much more than that. You see, many men are actually participants of a certain game: the Game of Sex.
What is the Game of Sex? Well, it’s not a video game. It’s also not a card game or a board game. In fact, it’s not any type of game that you can play for an hour or so - unless you have a clear winner. Rather, it’s a type of game that can last for days… or weeks… or even years. It’s a type of game that many, many men choose to partake in - and, according to the game’s rulebook, women are never allowed to join. Oh, the game does include women all right - but women are never included as the players. Rather, women are considered to be the game pieces themselves. The game pieces that, according to the object of the game, men are supposed to collect. In the game, women are the conquest that men have to tackle, and then earn points.
So when is the game over? Who determines who the winner is? Well, for many men, the game ends on the day they find the woman they wish to spend the rest of their lives with. However, the game only ends for him. It doesn’t end for anyone else. In fact, the game never ends for everyone. Also, there is no clear winner - simply because there is no deadline for the time that the game ends, and there is also no organized group of players. In fact, most of the players have never even met eat other - since the game is so widespread.
So what is the object of the game? Bragging rights! You see, the more women that a man sleeps with - the more he is able to brag to his fellow players about his sexual conquests.
However, in the Game of Sex, “easy” women don’t count - or, at the very least, they score a player far less points. There is where the whole slut-shaming comes in. The reason why The Game of Sex is even allowed to exist as a concept, is because of society’s beliefs that all “real men” live to have sex - while, for women, sex is supposed to be a duty. Women themselves aren’t supposed to have sex for fun. For them, sex is merely something they endure - for the sake of men. If a woman are “lucky”, having sex is a trade-off for something that she wants the man to do for her. If she is not so “lucky”, though, she ends up being ripped-off. Perhaps, she was hoping to start a romance with someone - and, in turn, the man she fell her ended up just using her to score points in the Game of Sex.
It’s because of that that women who sleep around are considered “sluts”. For a man, it’s seen as being a challenge to get a woman who is willing to sleep with him - while, for a woman, it’s supposedly not anywhere near as challenging for her to get a man who is willing to sleep with her. At least, not if she’s a conventionally attractive woman. So, because of this dynamic, a conventionally attractive woman who tries to join the Game of Sex as a player ends up becoming considered a “slut”. After all, game pieces (which women are considered to be, in the Game of Sex) cannot be players - and, in a traditional game, game pieces that are less challenging to conquer score less points than the “regular” game pieces. The reason why players don’t like “sluts” is because, if he was to sleep with her, his fellow players would tell her that she doesn’t count - since anyone (“anyone” being men, of course) could “do” her.
This is a dynamic that should be deconstructed from the top down. This dynamic is the whole reason why the Game of Sex is even possible. This is a dynamic that privileges men over women - and this is a dynamic that is not conducive for a society with gender-equality. Women should be allowed as much sexual freedom as men are, and women do not owe sex to anyone. Sex is not a commodity that should be traded, bartered, or given away. Anyone should be allowed to have as much (or as little) sex as they wanted.
BTW, I happen to be a virgin - and sex is not something that particularly interests me. Yeah, I know, this probably helps to perpetuate the stereotype that women are uninterested in sex - but that is just me. There are lots of women who don’t feel the same way as I do - and I’m sure there are men who do feel the same way as I do, even though many are probably embarrassed to admit that. Which, of course, is an example of how men are hurt by the patriarchy/kyriarchy. With all things considered, though, this is an issue that I care about - simply because I would liker to live in a world where all genders/sexes are equal. I’d also like to live in a world that recognizes more than two genders, and I’d like to live in a world where a person’s gender does not dictate what he or she should like or not like.
So let’s try to place an end to the Game of Sex, for once and for all - shall we?
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